VWDiesel.net The IDI, TDI, and mTDI source.
General Information => General => Topic started by: R.O.R-2.0 on December 09, 2011, 05:57:29 pm
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so, lately, ive had some users being very negative towards me, and i just wanted to know why?
i say something thats not sugar coated quite right, and a few select users like to rip my head off..
if i were doing something wrong, wouldnt more people let me know, rather than a few select people that b!tc# about everything?
90% of the users seem to have no problems with me, or what i say.. but, theres always gotta be someone to ruin the fun, eh?
anyways, i made a comment about an item for sale, and a fellow forum user (not associated with the same in any way) started jumping down my throat about the comments i made..
anyways, WTF am i doing so wrong?
i know i am a bit TOO blunt sometimes, and i dont sugar coat what i say.. i know i come off as abrasive sometimes, but WHY, OH WHY, would someone 2500 miles from me choose to be a dick about nothing?
i know theres quite a few people on here who ENJOY reading what i have to write, then theres the pissy patties that i have TRIED to be civil to, and they just turn around and pick arguements all over again..
im really looking for input from some of my fellow forum users. i dont care if you say im an ass**** and need to lighten up, or if you say im too soft and need to toughen up, whatever, please let me know..
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You used to be a dik.. But you've since lightened up a whole bunch!!
Imagine what he was like before people...
Lmfao! Does this count as a butthurt form? Lol love ya bro
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Honestly, there are times when I cringe and avoid certain discussions that you weigh in on (not exclusively you; there are quite a few others as well); but I usually do just that, I avoid and ignore. No harm, no foul.
And I just checked that for sale ad - I see nothing wrong with your first post at all: I see what appears to be excessive clearance in that photo as well. In this case, even if someone gets offended and challenges you, you don't have to respond. The issue would die right there. It's a lot easier to state your view and only address the legitimate questions that may follow.
On the other hand, sometimes you just gotta respect a person's right to sell what they want for how much they want. Classifieds have always been conducted as a 'buyer beware' sort of affair... you don't have to point out every little fallacy you notice, especially if you aren't involved in the transaction.
But if you know you're blunt and abrasive, why not tone it down a bit?
More generally, I notice some members here that can't let a topic alone, that seem to need to get the last word in, no matter what and from my very unscientific estimate, a lot of it seems to be from the young, green guys. Are you young and green? That's only something you can answer...
Anyway... you asked. That's my take.
Chris
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Jeremy, nothing you say could hurt my feelings, unless you were actually TRYING to..
some people just rub me the WRONG way..
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Honestly, there are times when I cringe and avoid certain discussions that you weigh in on (not exclusively you; there are quite a few others as well); but I usually do just that, I avoid and ignore. No harm, no foul.
And I just checked that for sale ad - I see nothing wrong with your first post at all: I see what appears to be excessive clearance in that photo as well. In this case, even if someone gets offended and challenges you, you don't have to respond. The issue would die right there. It's a lot easier to state your view and only address the legitimate questions that may follow.
On the other hand, sometimes you just gotta respect a person's right to sell what they want for how much they want. Classifieds have always been conducted as a 'buyer beware' sort of affair... you don't have to point out every little fallacy you notice, especially if you aren't involved in the transaction.
But if you know you're blunt and abrasive, why not tone it down a bit?
More generally, I notice some members here that can't let a topic alone, that seem to need to get the last word in, no matter what and from my very unscientific estimate, a lot of it seems to be from the young, green guys. Are you young and green? That's only something you can answer...
Anyway... you asked. That's my take.
Chris
that was basically the answer i expected.. i AM young, and hard headed.. but NOT green.. ive been working on all things mechanical since i can remember..
i asked, so im not going to be mad at what anyone has to say..
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Right on. You got no hard feelings on my end. I'm sure we could wrench and BS just fine in person.
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Right on. You got no hard feelings on my end. I'm sure we could wrench and BS just fine in person.
there are alot of you that i feel i could wrench with, bs, drink beer, whatever.. and get along just great.
then there are a few that i feel i would be beating there face in with a 18" crescent wrench after no more than 5 minutes with them..
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im just tired of a few certain users making a HUGE deal out of nothing.. i mean, im equally guilty, but i AVOID maning a big deal out of nothing..
like the arguement about how 3.67 gears are not suitable for a diesel, that arguement was about pointless.. theres LOTS AND LOTS of people running 3.67 gear sets behind TD and N/A engines just fine!!
and the remarks i got from a user because i commented about what i THOUGHT was too much side clearance.. the original poster could have chimed in and said that "it just looks that way in the pics", or that it didnt actually have that much clearance..
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You sir, are worse than Hitler. :o
No seriously, it's just the interwebz. You've got lots of info and experience to share. Don't worry about it.
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You sir, are worse than Hitler. :o
No seriously, it's just the interwebz. You've got lots of info and experience to share. Don't worry about it.
thanks for the good laugh.. i really needed it ;D
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im just tired of a few certain users making a HUGE deal out of nothing.. i mean, im equally guilty, but i AVOID maning a big deal out of nothing..
like the arguement about how 3.67 gears are not suitable for a diesel, that arguement was about pointless.. theres LOTS AND LOTS of people running 3.67 gear sets behind TD and N/A engines just fine!!
and the remarks i got from a user because i commented about what i THOUGHT was too much side clearance.. the original poster could have chimed in and said that "it just looks that way in the pics", or that it didnt actually have that much clearance..
If this were real life, and you were a bystander to a couple people engaged in a commercial transaction, and you piped up to criticize the product for sale, what do you think would happen? How would people respond? I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't see why it's any different on the internet. People will be offended and think it's rude to do this.
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To someone who is not familiar with how you are you could come off as gruff so to speak... But on the other side of things, it amazes me how thin skinned people are via a comment posted electronically, thousands of miles away, from a little box, connected to a wire versus in person.. Call someone an idiot on Facebook and you may as well have killed their first born.. Do it in person and by some means or another it's over with...
Best thing about you Kevin is that you will admit when your wrong about something..
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To someone who is not familiar with how you are you could come off as gruff so to speak... But on the other side of things, it amazes me how thin skinned people are via a comment posted electronically, thousands of miles away, from a little box, connected to a wire versus in person.. Call someone an idiot on Facebook and you may as well have killed their first born.. Do it in person and by some means or another it's over with...
Best thing about you Kevin is that you will admit when your wrong about something..
yup, im pretty good about owning up to it when im wrong..
but oh boy, tell me im wrong, when i know for fact im right, thats a good way to set me off.
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Sometimes you come across with a "know it all" type attitude as if you've tried every combination of things on these cars but I've gathered from reading many of your posts that your probably much younger than I and I was a dickhead when I was young. I don't know if that helps but I can see how you might be misinterpreted or rub someone the wrong way especially if they're not familiar with your interweb persona. I also think you are out to help people and share information.
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I think you used to be bad, not really anymore. I naturally tend to want to stand up if I know I am right as well, it bothers me more when I prove it and people are still not convinced. I try to stay out of commenting in the for sale threads that aren't mine...unless I want to buy obviously.
I sent this to myself and a couple people a while back. It puts things into perspective and makes me laugh.
(http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f63/nsimone/butthurtform.jpg?t=1312241244)
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if it makes a difference:
im a 23 year old hard headed red-neck..
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R.O.R. you are not that bad. You admit you are young and admit when you are wrong we all get flippant once in awhile.
since you asked I can only think that this is the reason for all the fuss.
yup, im pretty good about owning up to it when im wrong..
but oh boy, tell me im wrong, when i know for fact im right, thats a good way to set me off.
Ba bingo, here's the area in life you could change if you want to. I used to do the same but found as I continued to do it people distanced themselves from me unless they really needed an answer. The were just afraid that they would set me off. So I got older, and hence wiser, LOL. I just don't flare up at them like that anymore. I try to keep it cool and collected as that will convince them better than if I was railing on them It's up to you not them to maintain the temper and words.
It worked for me
theman53: thanks for the laugh, butthurt, first time on that one.
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And if all else fails you insult them nicely.. AS in that way that they really don't know it till an hour or two later.. ;D
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I've never felt any pain from anything I've seen you write. I have also seen you write things that had high odds of rattling someone's cage and the backlash was predictable and expected. The only advice I'd give is that if you don't like the response you're getting from people then change your approach, but don't do it on my account.
RD
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I sometimes have a laugh at some things you say on here, although nothing you've ever posted has bothered me in the slightest.
You are clearly very knowledgeable; both inside the VW Diesel community and it seems in many other areas too. The cool thing is that so much of your knowledge is from what you've actually done... not just from what you've read or seen other people doing. I've never actually blown up any form of motor on anything yet. I do intend to fix that someday, but so far I haven't done it
I'm going to make an example of a possible situation, purely hypothetical.
Lets say you end up in a debate about EGT's melting a piston. Somewhere on this forum, you replied to a question of mine saying you figure you had your 1.5 at 1500deg or more for about a minute. That motor eventually seized up but fired right up once it cooled down.
Now say someone else as sure of their opinion was running their car hard at 1350-1400deg for a minute solid, then suddenly lost compression and upon tearing it apart, found that they melted a piston.
Now it's possible your 1.5 was a good batch of aluminum and maybe it had low compression or whatever that let it endure such torture. And maybe, the other engine had a worse bias than normal starving a cylinder or two of air, so that hole ran rich and melted a piston. Both of you know you're right, and you are. Both of you will think the other person is wrong, but they aren't necessarily.
I can't think of a real example on the forum, but I think it sometimes comes down to an issue like that. I for one have learned a lot from you and hope to learn more! :D
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Maybe I just don't read enough, but this site is way chill. Even the late libby papa thread was a snooze fest compared to some of the *** I have seen go down on the intertubes (aka girl gamer plays with all of us, frequents our site, said gamer girl cheats on her boyfriend with another gamer we know, that melts and as retribution guy girl banged, posted pics of her naked from said affair, on our site, which had heavy traffic from the PSN site que insanity).
You are alright, ROR. You respond to posts whether they are new peoples like myself, or all the old timers. You have definitely got knowledge to share, and if people dont like how you share it, ef em. Its just the friggen internets. Thats whats so great about blocking people. Not worth your time fretting about what people think on the web.
Definitely not worth starting a whole thread about. :P
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opinions are like arss holes.. everyone has one.. :P
i cannot say ive seen any bad crap with ya..
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I think you are very knowledgeable, but you always outdo everyone if they have a situation. It seems like you've done absolutely everything,and it just kind of becomes old... You can come off as cocky.
But, you are very helpful and extremely smart :)
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i know this thread was not necessary, but i just wanted to make sure that its not ALL ME..
im aware i come off as abrasive, but if you knew me in day to day life, without the interwebz, then most of you would completely understand..
im extremely sarcastic, and i hate explaining myself more than once. i dont have sympathy for stupid people that do stupid things. i have sympathy for stupid people that are actually trying to learn, and do things the right way..
anyways, thank you all for the answers. none of what any of you said hurt my feelings. im not going to hold a grudge towards any of you that posted in this thread..
again, thank you for the constructive criticism.. everyones responses were read thoroughly, and taken into consideration..
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You are awful!Just kidding, We all can be dickish at times! You have some great info in alot of your posts and call it as you see it.It also seems to me you know when to stop. I for one don't know when to shut up and am guilty of dickish syndrome at times as well. It really seems like the whole forum took a mean turn for a few days anyway!
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It's true what people are saying, this is a great forum with a relatively small amount of bickering and the members here are generally very mature, open minded and helpful.
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BigVWman: It really seems like the whole forum took a mean turn for a few days anyway!
In the back of my mind there is this wee thought that somewhere in population studies they have noted group behavior that is somewhat cyclic. May even be tied to the phase of the moon. I wonder if we all just clustered on that period of time. Might be fun to look at that group of days and compare to other forums and see if their stuff was equally abrasive or more so.
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And then it really all comes back to the internet.. if you don't like Kevin tell him to FO and be on your way. ;) Its what i would do.
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but oh boy, tell me im wrong, when i know for fact im right, thats a good way to set me off.
I would say here is where your trouble comes from. What happens when you get 2 people in a conversation that know they are right, but both have opposite views?
An example would be turbo size. Giles loves the punchiness of a small turbo, but I love the smooth power curve of a larger turbo. We are both "right" and could argue it until we are blue in the face (or beating each other with a crescent wrench?).
Anyways my point is that it is ok and even good that people can see the same situation differently. I mean, if everyone was like us the world would drive VW diesels, if everything was like the Civic nation, we'd all have Hondas. And lets be honest, that would be boring. We would have no one to make fun of.
You are best off saying the reasons you are right, not the reasons they are wrong. If the other person keeps playing the "I'm right game" just ignore them and for the most part people will realize where the issue is and your posts will still be creditable while there's will likely be ignored.
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I've never had any problems with what you say, or even how you say it. Especially over on the 'tex. There are many who just don't listen and its frustrating. I watch a lot in threads on the sidelines simply because I'm too frustrated to post, so I give you props for stepping up.
I had no idea you were only 23 though. You know too much about these old IDIs to be 23! Props to you for that as well.
I'm 24 btw. Only been tinkering on the IDI since '08. Hubby knows much more than I do for sure, but I try to take in what I can, especially on the forums.
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RoR, your awesome, we;ve had our disagreements in the past but thats behind us and i know you better now. when it comes to being an a$$hole, im the worst, i just keep to myself and save from having fights on the internet because there is no point in getting pissed off on here.
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Whoa, whoa. Back up a second here.
Guys, I think there's a girl on the forum! :o 8) 8) ;)
*spit polishes his grubby jeans*
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Jessabug, I think you need to grace this thread; http://www.vwdiesel.net/forum/index.php?topic=24756.0 (http://www.vwdiesel.net/forum/index.php?topic=24756.0) with your face and car :D.
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I hate photo sites. Everytime I turn around I need to repost with the latest updates.
PS. ROR you ... nevermind
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Boy this is sure a thin skinned board. ROR, a post like that on some of my favorite lists would make you the topic of ridicule for months. Years ago, a guy on the almost defunct Turbo list was selling some clothes on fleaBay that his ex(?) wife left him with when she bailed. One of the most egregious smart asses (and most knowledgeable posters) followed him as a "favorite seller" on fleaBay and the one time when the guy was selling "skimpies and flimsies" he posted the fleaBay link. It was years before the "It will put the lotion on its skin" and "Panty Merchant" cracks stopped.
So, grow a pair. 99% of all the people in the world are just filler, anyway. Do what you do and never look back.
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and I thought ernie woulda taken care of ya when I lured ya into southern oregon......how did you escape???? :-X btw pics are real......... ;D
(http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3429/img3582my9.jpg)
(http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/9045/img3584vt4.jpg)
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and I thought ernie woulda taken care of ya when I lured ya into southern oregon......how did you escape???? :-X btw pics are real......... ;D
(http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3429/img3582my9.jpg)
(http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/9045/img3584vt4.jpg)
oh damn right those pics are real!
i seen that setup with my own 2 eyes.
yea, he let me escape, i had backup with me. YES! WITNESSES! more people than just me saw that! i have eye witnesses!
its amazing that such an awesome old guy could get dicked around soo much on his own property.. i dont get it..
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Whoa, whoa. Back up a second here.
Guys, I think there's a girl on the forum! :o 8) 8) ;)
*spit polishes his grubby jeans*
Sorry boys, I'm taken :P But I have no problem with grubby jeans, especially when covered in diesel grime :)
Jessabug, I think you need to grace this thread; http://www.vwdiesel.net/forum/index.php?topic=24756.0 (http://www.vwdiesel.net/forum/index.php?topic=24756.0) with your face and car :D.
I will certainly get there. Completely forgot about that thread!
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what i noticed about this thread, is that most of the people who seem to have issues with me, none of them actually had big enough marbles to step up and say so, or tell me why..
anyways, those of you who did reply to this somewhat pointless thread, thank you for your answers, and kind words.
ive been working on making my responses less abrasive, and trying to keep things pertinent to the thread at hand.. i know ive been guilty of hijacking a thread more than a few times..
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I think Tyler put it best - sometimes there's a difference between 'facts' and 'opinons' and not everyone knows how to figure out which is which. Bore and stroke on these engines are published facts which aren't really debatable, the best turbo to use is an opinion in which we will all have some pretty strong disagreements. If it turns in to an argument about who is "right" when it's a matter of opinion, it can sometimes go sideways, with little useful information getting added.
I do definitely get honked off when someone asks a question, and then their thread gets turned in to an argument about something else completely between other members, leaving the OP's question unanswered. I mean if you were new to the site, you probably wouldn't have a good feeling and want to stick around. It also SUCKS when you're trying to search back to find things and half the topics have very little info about the actual subject of the topic itself!
None of this is specific to you ROR or anyone else - it's more to do with the general case of people arguing on here. And yeah, there's lots of forums that are way worse, but that doesn't mean we have to let ours get like that.
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Like Sgt. Friday would say, Just the facts mam nothing but the facts.