DO not re-torque. Sweet jesus. Perhaps check them? don't go to 95...
just my 2 cents.
Yeah, here's where people get a bit nervous, and torque specs get a bit screwy. In the ARP instructions, there should be 2 different torque specs based on what lube you use.
The bolt specs for the OEM stretch bolts is based on a thin film of light oil (usually applied to the bolts at the factory).
In the latter case, I've often gone over the bolts with my torque wrench (after all the torquing procedures), and I consistently get a final value of about 105-110 ft-lbs, and I occasionally torque them a bit more if I feel the need, but that's with TTY and I'd feel if it was approaching the danger zone. It's extremely frustrating that VW does not provide an actual final torque value like many other manufacturers, especially since we all KNOW that VW didn't even follow their own stupid instructions when they built the cars in the first place (really did they 'drive' every motor 1000 miles and retorque, or implement a practice that would be equivalent? I doubt it).
In any event, how do my observed final torque value compare to the ARP specs? I'm not sure, because I don't know what lube you used, and how it compares to the stock figures that I've noted over the years. I personally think 95 ft-lbs is a safe place to start and see what you get. My sentiment is this: if you have to replace the gasket anyways, why no try to retorque it and see what happens. My rationale in this case is as follows:
1) I'm assuming the head was straight and crack free when installed, the same goes for the block.
2) It sounds like the motor hasn't even been run much, and, by all accounts, has not "overheated". It showns symptoms of an overheat, but the motor does not seem to have been overheated. So, the head is not warped, and tightening the bolts will only work to seal the gasket better between two flat surfaces.
3) Aside from the one time when the owner hit 20lbs of boost(!), it really hasn't been run too hard.
So, given those factors, it seems that the only possible reasons for the blown HG so early in the game is either
1) Faulty gasket: I kinda doubt this one
2) Too much boost: a distinct possibility. But if the gasket were properly torqued, one would assume that the gasket could hold up for that brief moment of high boost.
or
3) The HG was never torqued down enough, and the extra boost that one time was enough to blow it, OR, it wasn't tight enough for even normal operation (we'd have to know if it was puking coolant BEFORE it was pushed to 20 PSI).
Given those parameters, I'd speculate option 3: the HG wasn't torqued down enough: whether that be for normal operation, or high boost levels. Especially when 53willys noted that it would idle all day and not boil over, but when run, it would spew. This indicates a excessive boost blow-by into the coolant system.
A little seepage and retorque is fine, so long as you are certain that there are not other problems in the head/block at noted by Andrew. Sooner or later, you'll have to pull the head. My view is, might as well try to see if you CAN'T get it to run right with the fiber gasket that's on there, and have the MLS as a safe back-up.
Just my $0.02