Edit: I got the pulley off but that was, now that i can see, the least of my troubles....
this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever tried to do.
anyone that tries to change the water pump, may god have mercy on your soul.
why on EARTH would it be designed this way?

That pulley that covers some of those bolts on mine has huge chips taken out of it where someone has attempted to take it off with a gear puller.... ( i see now that the pulley is on a key and isn't a friction fit. I have no idea why it has such large chunks taken out of it... slightly concerning)
im not even going to try! What on earth am i supposed to do here??!?! is my entire car and build to waste because of this insane engineering flaw???
I can't get the nut off the (what i believe to be) the intermediate shaft pulley because i can't bar the pulley static.
I need to change the water pump because i dont think it works anymore.
Do i just not know what im doing? i really hope so...
I have to take off all those little bolts on the pulley side correct? and they go out and behind the intermediate shaft pulley?